I have learned over the years why I love photography so much. It is more than enjoying pretty pictures, it is more than the natural knack I have for it, and it is so much more than making money, which I would love to do. It is about the memories.
I have a bad memory. I have a hard time remembering moments that happened days ago, let alone years ago. So I have come to carry a camera constantly in my hand and record my memories as I go. I remember through moments and pictures. This is also why I love scrapbooking so much. I want to remember and I want to share these memories with my family and friends, and especially Zoey.
However, I have become slack on backing these up. So today I made it my project to back up all my photos for the last (not quite) year. I got about halfway and my stomach started bugging me. So I laid down, with my computer still up and running, and went to sleep. When I woke up my cat was on top of the keyboard and all the pictures out of my main folder were gone.
I am panicked! I am angry! I am heartbroken.
I try all I know what to do. Stephen tries all that he knows to do. But they are gone. We saved a few, but I later realize it was mostly the "fuzzy" ones that I was deleting to begin with and the ones I had already backed up.
I am lost.
I still don't know what to do.
I do have most of the occasions either on Facebook or a special folder that I use for scrapbooking. But still, they are only part of the collection of photos.
The worse part is that I had all of the Family Reunion pictures in the folder that was erased. I was going to copy all of them and give them to family members. I do still have a good number of them from my scrapbook folder, but it is only part of what I took. Of over 700 plus that I took there are only a little over 300 left. I am sad and I feel horrible because even though most of the ones lost were different shots of the same ones I have, I wanted to share the ENTIRE collection. I'll still send what I have though it is less than 300 of the actual reunion because I took pictures during our travel too.
So I will recover as much as I can, but I still feel heartbroken that I lost my pictures. I feel like part of my memory has been erased. I know this is an overstatement and for sure a first world problem, but I am taking it hard. This on top of my already emotional state this past week or so that I have no idea why I am having it has been a rough day.
I don't like talking about things that are downers, but I needed to share this. And my Lovin Life post will mean a lot more this week I think.
I feel like there is some big lesson to learn from this. Maybe live in the moment or make you own memories. But those feel so hollow. Like I said photos are my moments and they act as my memories. Then again, maybe I am being told something...it wasn't too long ago that my camera broke and I was without and feeling a similar way. But I love my pictures. I don't think I will be slacking on backing them up any time soon, that is for sure.