Thursday, November 3, 2011

What a Surreal Day.

Today was crazy. It actually started just after midnight.

I had just laid down to go to sleep. It was actually perfect timing though because I hadn't actually gotten comfortable yet. My phone rings. No alarm, this is an expected call. My friend is in labor. Yaaaaayyyy! Wait, it's midnight? I am called to go watch their older daughter while my friend is at the birthing place. I do this willingly and with much joy because I love this family very much. So I get there, talk a little before they leave, and then read before going to bed. No problem, this is my kind of babysitting.

I wake up out of no where this morning an hour before the baby does. I couldn't go back to sleep. I think my subconscious woke me up with thoughts of how mommy and unborn baby are doing. After writing some during my unexpected free time, I get a phone call from the daddy and baby wakes up. It is good news to hear mommy and unborn baby are good, but we are still waiting on baby's arrival. In other good news, baby is in a good mood and takes good early nap (yay more writing time!).

During these morning hours and even more so as the day went on, I couldn't ignore how much I missed Zoey. She stayed home with Daddy today, soaking in lots and lots of daddy time. I realize I don't get much away time from Zoey, nor do I want any. But then when I am away from her, especially waking up away from her, it felt empty somehow. I really did miss her.

Thankfully, after no further word from expecting mommy and daddy, baby and I head over to my house to hang out with Zoey and Stephen. We had a blast. The girls got along great, mostly (normal toddler banter.) I was really glad to see Zoey and Stephen and it was great fun to play with baby all day.

The strangest thing was the day felt like it was immune to time. It didn't feel like part of the week. Probably because it did not follow our normal routine. It has been a long time since a day has been absolutely unpredictable and completely go with the flow. It was kind of nice to step away from the everyday mundane and even chores to really live in the moment while we waited for a baby to be born.

Finally we got the call. Baby was born once brand new mommy and daddy were settled at home we headed over to give older child back and to meet the baby. I was actually really excited to meet new baby. I  felt really special that we were able to see him so soon. I suppose it's the benefit to kidnapping  watching their daughter for the day. (She's such a good girl that it was truly a blessing to hang out with her for the day.)

Seeing newborn baby was...sigh. There are no words. Talk about increasing baby fever. He was so amazing. His skin is so new, his face so sweet and those teeny tiny hands. Oh, I could have sat and watched that little baby all night. It just made me feel so

So to top off that amazing and surreal day, I have another friend asked about some pictures of a mutual friend that passed away. I have always been the picture lately so naturally I have tons. I look through this one box decorated in wrapping paper that my mom brought to me. It was from high school, I knew, but what I had found was a treasure mine. I found my scrapbooking box from high school. I am an avid scrapbooker now, but I was just getting started back in those days. I had pages, materials, tickets and lots of pictures.

Looking through those pictures took me back to another lifetime. I was looking for specific ones of our friend who died and surreal can barely describe the feelings that stirred at looking at these old pictures. I found pictures of prom, pictures from bad, pictures of an old girlfriend that he may or may not even remember, but the craziest ones were none of these. The most surreal pictures are the ones when no one is looking at the camera, the ones where you can see the easy smile and light in his eyes. He had a great smile. It is mind boggling to see these carefree pictures of a person, a man, that no longer walks on the earth. It is a powerful thing to miss our friends.

In this box, I also found many other groups of pictures. I found pictures of my dancing days, my grandfather, old friends and several trips we went on. Then I found pictures of my first boyfriend. There is something about your first boy friend (or girlfriend) isn't there? It's not something you can easily forget. I remember how we felt all those years ago when we were both so young. I can say, the love I have for my husband far outweighs what I ever felt for a first boyfriend. However, I also can't deny that what I felt then was love. It's a different sort of love, but still true.

So I am running on not very much sleep and really tired and worn out from a really great day. So if this post only half made sense, it's because I'm too tired to think coherently. However, I am trying to download the day and I feel almost as if it is too much to take. It's not of high emotions or stress, it's the opposite, it's a day full of love. Love for family and friends. I am thankful for the miracle of a new baby to love, and I am thankful for loving who I was many years ago. I actually think about that time and the people I knew and loved back then often. I don't really talk to many of them anymore, over the years we have lost touch. I wonder if they remember me or all the awesome adventures we had together.

That was a really long thought process. But I feel like there is a little more room in my brain and in my heart now. Writing has always been my way to sort through my thoughts. Today is one of those days where you just take a step back from life and go...WOW. What a surreal day. It is a good day to count all of my blessings past, present and future.

Oh, and by the way... NaNoWriMo Progress:

Nov 3
Starting word count: 22,421
Ending word count: 25,054
Total words for day: 2,633
Total words for month: 6,811

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