Do you ever have days like that? I think everyone does, if they are honest. Days or moments when you just feel down or not good enough?
Today was a normal day filled with normal things. I go up, but missed my quiet time. Honestly, that could have had a big impact on the day right there. I am not what you would call a morning person. Most mornings, I just want to hit the snooze button and keep on sleeping. I find though, that those quiet morning when I can wake up, enjoy my cup of coffee, and begin my day with my thoughts in order, the day runs much smoother. On days, like today, when I miss that, I feel unorganized and frankly in a state of chaos. So, point one for feeling sad...lack of quiet time.
Moving right one along in my day. I stay at home with my daughter. I have for the last 5 years (ever since she was born). I have enjoyed it greatly. I like to believe she has too. However, she is beginning school in just a handful of days now and that changes things. I am now getting slowly more and more excited about the idea of getting a job. Of course, I've been completely dragging my feet on the whole preparation of it, but I am still excited about it. So I think I have some guilt over not moving forward more quickly or confidently about this.
Next comes dishes, laundry and general cleaning. As a mom and one who is responsible for the house, I have to admit, I hate doing most of these things. It's not even really the act itself, it is simply the never ending cycle of it all. I put the same dishes up every day. I wash the same laundry and put it up, just to do it all over again. This gets exasperating. I know I cannot be the only soul who dislikes chores. We just moved so all of my routines are still not set yet. I feel like I am always behind. I am always needing to sweep, even if I just did it earlier in the day. The dishes continue to pile up, even when I just washed some. The laundry is a never ending cycle that just becomes depressing. We are still working on where things go and how chores will be distributed among the family. So right now, I just feel like I'm am constantly picking up something, most of the time something I never got out.
So it gets to the end of the day where I feel like we spent to much money on groceries, my daughter is non-stop needing something or the other, feeling guilty on not doing more to advance my career, involved in a never ending cycle of cleaning and a lack of quiet (mommy) time. It's the end of the day and I am drained, tired, and just a little sad.
The beauty of all of this is that we all have days like this. There are always moments that are a little depressing and lack of luster. However, this is not my life. My life is full of joy and peace. I am content. I love my family. I love this new city we are in. I love our little apartment. I am thankful for so many things. I realize, it is okay to be sad sometimes. I can allow myself to honestly feel it.
At the same time, I don't need to wallow in it. I don't need to wake up tomorrow feeling sad. I don't need to live my life depressed because in one moment I feel tired and drained. Instead, I will relax tonight. Set aside all of my worries. I will pour a glass of wine and watch a movie or read a book, something I've been wanting to do.
We all have "one of those days," but I don't have to look back and regret anything about my life. I want to always remember how much I am loved, not only by my family and friends, but by God. Jesus lived and died so that we could have life and have it abundantly (John 10:10). I want to thank Him for that by living a life of joy and kindness. Even when I'm tired and worn down to the bone, it doesn't mean I treat my family as less. It means I let them know I need some time and then take it.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." ~Matthew 11:28
Jesus knew that life was not always red velvet cupcakes and rainbows. He knew life was tough. He knew that even when his disciples had peace and joy, they would still face hardships. He said to come to Him. He didn't say lash out to others or wallow in self-pity. He said to come. Any one who is weary or carries burdens could come and tell him all about it. When the conversation was finished, there would no longer be weariness, there would no longer be worry. Instead, you would find rest. Jesus can carry our burdens. Jesus can refill our hearts to overflowing. We all get tired, even He did. But, He is the Son of God and He can carry burdens that would drive us mad. When we give him our tired days, He gives us exactly what we need...rest. Sometimes that is all we need, someone to listen and care how we feel even when it feels unjustified. Jesus is always there and He will give you rest when you reach out to Him.
I pray that when you have "one of those days" that you will reach out to Him and not sit in misery. I pray also, that I will continue to reach out to the One who provides rest for my soul. I do not need to live in depression or fear. I want to be free and live my life to the fullest with joy and peace. I do have sad moments, but I do not live a sad life. I live a life for the Creator. I live a life that is meant to share kindness and joy with everyone I meet. I pray that you find your light in the One who says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." I pray that on "those days" you (and I ) take Him at His word and go and receive the best give He could possibly give, a heart that is free of stress and depression and filled with joy and peace on the best of days and the worst. Thank you Lord for all that you have done. Amen.